The attitudes and behaviors people adopt when it comes to mingling, mating and marriage constitute the reproductive climate of a society. The sexual strategies they adopt can be short or long-term.

Historically, long-term reproductive climates have endured for centuries but it is only in this stage of humanity that we are witnessing a drastic and significant shift to a short-term sexual strategy. What are the causes instigating this shift? Why are people delaying marriage, having no respect for themselves, and pursuing frivolous relationships with no clear outcome?

In Western culture, if you ask for courtship, a woman will run for the hills thinking you’re desperate and creepy – Reddit user

A.S Amin in his book Conflict of Fitness: Islam, America and Evolutionary Psychology lists three primary reasons for this shift:

1. Urbanization
2. Contraception
3. Media

I endeavor to contribute to his work with my own insights.

1. Urbanization

Today’s societies arrange themselves in highly dense and frantic areas as compared to the distributed and sparse villages humans organized into.

Humanity’s organization into villages signaled less opportunities to interact with others. It was incumbent on either party to seek and secure a mate before the window closed itself.

With urbanization opening the doors to more connections, I would believe that people would have an easier time finding someone they want to commit to, but the statistics paint a different picture. Highly populated areas such as Los Angeles and New York City witness marriage occurring around 30 whilst in the less populated states people marry around the mid 25s.^[1]

So why the sharp disparity in the two reproductive climates?

Emerging Adulthood

Emerging Adulthood describes the period of life from around 18-27 where the individual can explore his identity and experience the pleasures of adulthood.

This is the stage in life where people entertain multiple short-term partners.

Traditionally, when civilization was arranged in villages if either party, male or female is exposed for employing a short-term sexual strategy, there are consequences for it. He/she is ostracized and his/her reputation is tarnished. Think of the derogatory terms such as slut or hoe. This is a form of social condemnation that is used to apply pressure to promiscuous women to reform their sexual strategies. In its absence, the more promiscuous women secure the high value men, compromising the chances of other females to attain mates. This is how the mating market is regulated.

The dynamics of city life permit individuals to roam the world with anonymity. This allows them to evade the socially detrimental consequences of acting out of order.

Returning to the less populated US states and towns everyone knows each other’s business. Rumors propagate more easily and a tarnished reputation persists, severely limiting the chances of attracting a mate. He/she will be branded as so and so. This label will be reinforced in the interactions that occur with the town folk.

Shifting to the modern landscape, cities offer the perfect guise of anonymity.

The woman can furtively indulge in promiscuous behavior without any long-term ramifications (see section on Contraception below which amplifies this behavior). Even if she is exposed, her sexual strategy isn’t necessarily compromised. This is due to a lack of social condemnation and the individualistic nature of society. Such is the times where people hardly know their neighbors.

Village life also permits the male to monitor the actions of his partner more closely. This aids in safeguarding their union and in warding way any potential infidelity.

Online Dating

Online dating and other matchmarking services have thrived in this age of urbanization.

The rise of Tinder which saw exponential adoption two years after its release in 2011 has flourished with the platform conducting 12 million daily matches.^[2] Now if the individual seeks to entertain a possibly scandalous relationship, he/she is more empowered now more than ever. The outcome is the proliferation of the short-term oriented hookup culture characterized by abysmal paternity confidence, shame, and selfishness.

The romantic options these platforms present is simply staggering and unprecedented in history.

2. Contraception

The female is inspired to persist in a short-term reproductive climate if she can curb pregnancy.

The rise of accessible contraception in the latter half of the 20th century has eroded the biggest deterrent of short-term sexual behavior. The birth of a child. The ability to evade this has placed less impetus on delaying sexual gratification. This allows both genders to engage in such activities with impunity.

Additionally, if the female does become pregnant the male might be galvanized to man up to offer his long-term commitment but with the rise of contraception (and eroding social behaviors) this responsibility is being evaded.

The population of single mother families continues to climb even after the explosion of abundant birth control methods and medical leaps permitting safer abortions.

So, what’s the deal? Who is green lighting these pregnancies?

There are 41 different variants of contraception available to women whilst only two available for the male – a vasectomy or a condom. Invoking this evidence, Rolla Tomassi in The Rational Male presents the view that in conjunction with the timing of the ovulation cycles:

There are no such things as accidental pregnancies.

Understanding that it is a deliberate action. All the power is with the female to control the birth. It is her promiscuity that largely determines if you want little versions of yourself running around.

3. Media

James Clear talks about super stimuli in Atomic Habits in the context of attempting to refrain from them.

Porn

Super stimuli are those not naturally occurring in society. It includes the colorful advertising of fast food, drugs, and porn. The world of pornography is characterized by uninhibited sexual desire and exaggeration. The brain is inundated with the visceral nature of this stimuli.

It is unable to discern that it is not real.

Akin to getting scared in horror movies. It’s not real but we still get scarred.

Further the narratives the industry peddles ruthlessly exploits whatever psychological weaknesses and insecurities the user is feeling.

“Look at this! This woman wants me. And I just met her. I didn’t have to get to know her or anything! And she isn’t the only one. Dozens of other women have acted the same way.” ^[3]

He is made to believe that the world outside is populated by beautiful, promiscuous, and accessible women. Women who yearn to be with him and eager implement whatever fantasy he’s yearns for.

The male’s faculty of logic is temporarily relinquished. He becomes a slave to his desires. This poisons the mind with unrealistic scenarios. It invites a short-term sexual strategy characterized by immediate sexual fulfilment.

When a man experiences an erection, he loses 2/3 of his mind – Fayad b. Najih

Rollo Tommasi comments that porn makes obsolete the one most valuable asset the female can offer – her sexual utility.

Consistent exposure to this stimulus elevates the standards of beauty he is accustomed to. The result is that he filters out average or good looking girls because they don’t look like the ones on his screen.

Additionally, the female faces a grim predicament.

How is she able to compete with all the girls the guy has interacted with? I heard one story of a guy using porn as a prerequisite before getting intimate with his partner. Although the female figure is mysterious and alluring, it is unable to compete against a multibillion-dollar industry juggernaut.

These reasons present themselves as facilitating a short-term sexual strategy due to misalignments between the artificial and natural.

Broader Media

The male is inherently weak to the female figure.

Broader media such as TV, films, radio, advertising, music and social media have recognized this. They’ve adopted more sexually stimulating content as an easy way to capture the male’s attention and thus to earn more money. The constant presentation of this stimuli causes the male’s lust to surface ad nauseum. The reality is that everywhere you look, walk, hear you are bombarded with either sexually provocative or insinuating content. Thus, how is the male able to commit to a woman (or women’s) if he is being constantly agitated by his environment and enticed by other options?

The digital world has exploded to exploit this trend. Young girls disseminate themselves in a promiscuous and ostentatious fashion. She is reward by the attention and money of her male patrons (see OnlyFans).

A short-term sexual strategy flourishes under these conditions.

I didn’t recognize it earlier but when I was watching The Cat in the Hat, I recognized a sexual innuendo that flew past my head as I child. It’s when the Cat (I don’t know his name) stumbles on a rake and it leaps upward striking him in the face. He them remarks What a hoe or something to that standard.

The bottom line is that there’s a potent financial incentive to imbue pornographic material into media. The alarming trend is that we are witnessing this spill over increase. And I haven’t even mentioned Tiktok.

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Footnotes

[1] Aziz Ansari – Modern Romance

[2] Aziz Ansari – Modern Romance

[3] A.S. Amin – Conflicts of Fitness: Islam, America and Evolutionary Psychology